Submit your tweets today

Mar 21

@Michael_Erhart: Just saw a shooting star. It was shooting at me! I ran.

 
1
 
 
0

Jul 10 2013

@lovemorenotles: I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?

 
6
 
 
1

Dec 15 2013

@ChaoticBeny: My Girlfriend just told me to go to hell, anyone else need anything from Walmart?

 
10
 
 
3

May 17

@garrydavenport: If I was a serial killer, I'd specialise in killing dwarves. Only because I hate digging.

 
4
 
 
1

Dec 07 2013

@RyanMaxRiley: What did the dentist say to the dog? Nice houndstooth jacket.

 
5
 
 
3

Apr 05

@carlyken: I like to think of myself as a feminist until I remember I don't own a single Tori Amos album.

 
2
 
 
1

Sep 21 2013

@Michael_Erhart: My friend just got a brand new mustang. So jealous, I wish I could ride a horse to work every morning. :(

 
8
 
 
0

Mar 04

@Michael_Erhart: Is it officially dating after 3 or 4 likes on Instagram? I can never remember.

 
17
 
 
3