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Aug 05 2013

@edwardlowrie113: The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs A LOT less.

 
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May 22 2014

@MsCassieDaniels: Look, I'm not trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist or anything, but what if his name isn't really the Kool-Aid Man!?

 
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Feb 07 2014

@iGreenMonk: At the beginning of a relationship, I wonder if women rub their hands together and say "Let the games begin!"

 
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Aug 17 2013

@NurseSeymour: I hear my ex is now into cross dressing & looking for same. At least that's what the Craigslist ad I just posted on his behalf says.

 
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Nov 24 2013

@vikkaroni: I've taken up knitting. Mostly it's just knitting my eyebrows together in confusion.

 
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Feb 23 2014

@vikkaroni: Perception is reality. I perceive you to be a douchebag.

 
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Jul 23 2013

@marilyncabanesj: The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

 
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Jul 21 2013

@jesusablizzardu: Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

 
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