*looking down at you*
"whatever movie you're seeing this weekend I assure you the book was better."
I thought girls like to cuddle? According to the girl sitting next to me on the train, apparently not. Well, she was sitting next to me.
I have a pair camouflage pants, but I can never find them.
Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.
If it wasn't for Redbull I wouldn't be a functioning member of society
My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found again.
I accidentally wore nice clothes when I went to Walmart and now I'm banned for life.
Compared to Miley Cyrus, I actually miss Paris Hilton. Maybe she should make another boring sex tape that we have to hear about.