bad when someone turns the tap on and you're in the shower. it felt like I was being washed by the tears of someone with Sjogren's syndrome
I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
It's cute how they keep advertising alcohol like there's somebody out there who needs to be reminded to drink
Vlad The Impaler: disturbing historical figure, or really awesome porn name?
I want to die like a popstar! like drowning in a bath or having my chest crushed by a doctor
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Son, your mother prefers the Star Wars prequels over the originals. I'm still your father, but May The Divorce Be With You, Luke.
Hospitality = Making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.