A social life? In this economy?
I'm tired of all these Christmas decorations everywhere. Can we please move on to something more festive like Flag Day already?
Make any room a panic room by forgetting to take your Xanax first.
Your call is extremely important to us....please hold for 47 minutes and enjoy this bagpipe solo.
I don't have twitter is the new I don't have a TV.
Stupidity isn't a "handicap". Park somewhere else.
I love my kids. I love my kids. I love my kids.
I'm not saying that for your benefit. I'm saying it for their safety.
Remember, the lower your pants the cooler you are. People who say you look ridiculous are just dumb peasants. #swagadvice