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Mar 29

@Michael_Erhart: A social life? In this economy?

 
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Nov 19 2013

@vikkaroni: I'm tired of all these Christmas decorations everywhere. Can we please move on to something more festive like Flag Day already?

 
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Oct 25 2013

@carlyken: Make any room a panic room by forgetting to take your Xanax first.

 
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Jan 25

@LisAHHHHHHHH: Your call is extremely important to us....please hold for 47 minutes and enjoy this bagpipe solo.

 
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May 24

@MsCassieDaniels: I don't have twitter is the new I don't have a TV. 

 
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Nov 13 2013

@TheWriteStuff2u: Stupidity isn't a "handicap". Park somewhere else.

 
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Dec 15 2013

@vikkaroni: I love my kids. I love my kids. I love my kids. I'm not saying that for your benefit. I'm saying it for their safety.

 
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May 29

@LisAHHHHHHHH: Remember, the lower your pants the cooler you are. People who say you look ridiculous are just dumb peasants. #swagadvice

 
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