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Dec 25 2013

@LeonEarlgrey: *looking down at you* "whatever movie you're seeing this weekend I assure you the book was better."

 
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Nov 14 2013

@timdonakowski: I thought girls like to cuddle? According to the girl sitting next to me on the train, apparently not. Well, she was sitting next to me.

 
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Jun 02

@LeonEarlgrey: I have a pair camouflage pants, but I can never find them.

 
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Jul 30 2013

@lahomapopadiukk: Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.

 
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Jan 17

@Tumi_De_real: If it wasn't for Redbull I wouldn't be a functioning member of society

 
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Apr 20

@MadGamer79: My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found again.

 
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Mar 10

@vikkaroni: I accidentally wore nice clothes when I went to Walmart and now I'm banned for life.

 
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Sep 16 2013

@_dhollings: Compared to Miley Cyrus, I actually miss Paris Hilton. Maybe she should make another boring sex tape that we have to hear about.

 
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