My dad always says everything goes with beer, even chocolate. I call bullshit.
Douchebags. Douchebags do not go well with beer.
Boss made me put a nametag over my left bosom. I leaned over and said, "Now, what shall we name the other one?"
I should be in Guinness World Records for longest record of being single.
It must've been great to be the first person to use an ATM. Your friends would think you had super powers to make money.
For future reference, use a time machine.
Wine definitely counts as a serving of fruit, right?
Wait? So Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton are two different people!?
Boyfriend: My girlfriend is so "green" her idea of nail polish remover is waiting for her toenails to grow out before repainting!