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Jan 02 2014

@timdonakowski: Uh oh. It's almost basketball shorts season.

 
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Mar 04 2014

@Michael_Erhart: Is it officially dating after 3 or 4 likes on Instagram? I can never remember.

 
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Feb 09 2014

@FinnMcIver: I really hate it when people repeat something twice when making a point. don't do that guys, don't do that.

 
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Jul 16 2013

@seemaeymanu052: When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

 
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May 27 2014

@MsCassieDaniels: Not to sound full of myself, but I'm like seriously the hottest girl at the abortion clinic today.

 
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Aug 24 2013

@GiovannaBonill2: Just tried to switch to Bing. Google was like, "You can, but it'd be a real shame if some of your old searches got out..."

 
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Dec 02 2013

@AlgebraHouse: #Amazon is going to use flying drones to deliver packages. I’m ordering 50 pounds of bird seed, just to see what happens.

 
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Nov 03 2013

@carlyken: Where do I see myself in 5 years? Fighting crime in my invisible jet-OK CALL SECURITY THEY'RE NO MATCH FOR A FUTURE MEMBER OF JUSTICE LEAGUE

 
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