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Nov 27 2013

@Michael_Erhart: No way, I just saw a dog while I was taking my Sasquatch for a walk. You guys probably think I'm crazy and don't believe me, about the dog.

 
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Jul 21 2013

@kristydigmanv08: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 
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Nov 18 2013

@vikkaroni: Trying to remember the standard gift for the 8 year anniversary. Is it pottery or dismemberment? I can never keep them straight.

 
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Sep 15 2013

@davidasyne: I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like "Loves Abortions Allison" or "Intern Groper Gary".

 
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Jan 03 2014

@FinnMcIver: and I've decided that my new years resolution is to let some of the children escape from my basement

 
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May 14 2014

@TomSchally: The last time one period had me this nervous, I was 19 and the condom broke. #mnwild #StanleyCupPlayoffs

 
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Nov 24 2013

@timdonakowski: Okay, Iran, now that that's over with, where are we on the Wes Welker and Jimmy Graham for Drew Brees deal?

 
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Aug 11 2013

@kymbradacr511: Never treat someone like Coca-Cola when they treat you like Pepsi.

 
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