Submit your tweets today

Jul 22

@LisAHHHHHHHH: I can't look in the mirror because I get lost in my own eyes

 
2
 
 
1

Jul 22

@LisAHHHHHHHH: I'm so fancy Iggy Azalea is jealous

 
2
 
 
1

Jul 20

@lava89: When I'm at a vending machine with only crumpled bills, I feel like that episode of the Twilight Zone where the bookwork breaks his glasses.

 
2
 
 
0

Jul 15

@wickedblondeone: Love is all you need. Oh, and carbs.

 
3
 
 
1

Jul 15

@wickedblondeone: what if next to verified checkmarks, there was a "this person looks like their profile pic" checkmark?

 
3
 
 
1

Jul 11

@wickedblondeone: My caffeine has totally worn off. That makes me unarticulate. And I have trouble using words too.

 
2
 
 
0

Jul 10

@ComedianJerryG: After 6 cases of Chlamydia, 5 Syphilis breakouts and 4 batches of Crabs I think I finally found my Pretty Woman.

 
2
 
 
1

Jul 08

@ComedianJerryG: This trendy restaurant in hollywood wouldn't allow me to walk inside with my own fruit...I guess Orange is the new Black.

 
2
 
 
1